It’s been almost two years since our last interaction. Enough time has passed that I’ve finally found the courage to tell you the truth about what happened. I feel like I at least owe you that much.
You probably think about that day just as much as I do. Probably more, because I actually don’t think about it at all. It was the end of winter and I was feeling desperate. It all happened so quickly that I didn’t even think of the consequences until it was over. It wasn’t until you left that I became fully aware of the weight of my decision.
See, there’s something you should know. When you came into my life, I was still reeling from my experience with The Paperback. It was the longest relationship I had ever been in, so at first it was easy to forgive the little things until the problems to grew too big to ignore. Paperback was so easily damaged, and whenever I felt like changing things up, Paperback always had the same old story. Then you appeared underneath the Christmas tree that morning and I felt like it was a chance to start afresh. You were so shiny and worldly and were lavish with your praise of all of my reading accomplishments. Paperback seemed naïve and futile in comparison to all the stories you had to share.
The truth is, I don’t know if I was really ready for you, E-Reader. I missed the experience of holding a book, of touching it, of smelling it. (Yeah, I know. So creepy.) Paperback was so stoïc, so solid; and yet you were all over the place, constantly challenging me to read more, or offering me new recommendations, or turning the page when I wasn’t ready (and I swear I only tapped your screen once). So many things were happening at such an alarming rate I would forget where I had left off on the page, or got so distracted I couldn’t keep track of the story. You constantly demanded my attention and insisted on coming with me everywhere. It was toxic and confusing.
It’s still no excuse for selling you on Craigslist without any warning, but I knew a clean break would be the only way to clean up this mess. You see, I never stopped having feelings for Paperback. I couldn’t stop going back and forth between you too. I let my empty wallet make the decision for me. The truth is, I could never be the total digital convert that you wanted me to be. I like paper too much. Also, you were worth way more than my dog-eared copy of Pride and Prejudice.
Thinking about you after all this time makes me wonder if you still miss me, but then I remember the way the man who bought you looked at you when he left my apartment. He was smiling at you with the same look of hope I had on my face when I got my first e-reader. You were staring back at him, your face a blank screen. Somehow, in my heart, I knew it was going to work out between you too.
But as for this old-fashioned girl? I’ll never surrender to your charms, E-Reader. Or Kobo. Or Kindle. Or whatever your name was.
Paperback or e-reader: which camp are you in? Please don’t tell me that you still read scrolls! Comment below or give me a shout at firstname.lastname@example.org. Wanna see more of what I’ve read, both in print and digitally? Check out my Goodreads profile or read about more book-ish type stuff here.