How to Get Your Groove Back

Stella got hers back, so why can’t you get your back too?

Ok, maybe she had a little help from Taye Diggs (and who couldn’t use a little help from Taye Diggs?) but you can still find a way to get back on track even if you’re not the glamorous subject of a 90s movie.

Maybe you’re like Stella and you’re in transition- you’ve had a baby, just got married, changed jobs, moved houses, been through a divorce. Even though sometimes change can be for the better, we still face challenges when we mix up the status quo.

You’re not alone. Everyone has blips or hiccups that leave them feeling less confident about their lives, or their ability to make a change. On the other hand, giving yourself a kick in the pants may be just what you need to get your butt in gear.

What motivates you to take action? Some people respond to fear or stress, or even anger. If challenging yourself forces you to do something, do it, but leave out all of the negative self-talk. You won’t always have other people around to support you when you need it, so it’s important to learn how to be your own cheerleader.

See, it really all comes down to you. The key to challenging yourself lies in changing the behavior patterns or habits that are counter-productive to leading the life that you want to live. It’s one of the trickier emotional tasks you’ll face- it’s not easy to take a good, hard look at yourself let alone take responsibility for your own shortcomings. And, let’s face it, you’ll never be perfect. Transitions take time and you’re never going to change everything about yourself, especially not all at once.

You may not even want to change; unfortunately a lot of us are forced to once we’ve experienced an upheaval in our lives. That’s ok; we’re growing and changing all the time as we learn more, travel more, meet more people, have new experiences. It doesn’t mean you’re still not you- you’re just a newer version of yourself. If you can respect this process and respect who you once were, you’ll eventually grow to love the person you’ve become. And if you don’t, change! Humans are incredibly capable at adapting. Ironically it’s this ability that will always lead us back to ourselves- to finding our own groove, our own place in the world, wherever our lives take us.

Have you experienced a recent upheaval in your life? What was difficult about the change? How did you handle it? Let’s see if we can all get into the same groove and share each other’s stories by either commenting below or sending them to me at keepingbusyb[a]gmail.com. I may include them in an upcoming post!

I wrote about the benefits of changing up my own life here and here. Looking for more ways to makeover your life? I’ve got solutions on how to balance a busy schedule here, organizing your life here and maximizing your productivity here.

How Do You Know When It’s Time for a Makeover?

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Change is something that I usually approach kicking and screaming. I wouldn’t necessarily say that I am a creature of habit, but I am the type of person that likes to take the time to plan things out. The decision to make a change usually comes from hours of careful research, surveying practically everyone I know, and a couple of hours of procrastination which I usually write-off as time to “soul-search”.

Since planning can be such a long process for me it’s natural for me to feel reluctant about any type of change. Organizing my space is no exception. I put a lot of thought into my furniture placement and organizing systems so the prospect of changing anything seems daunting. I won’t do it unless I feel like it’s absolutely necessary.

I had this friend in high school who used to rearrange her room constantly. It drove me up the wall. I never understood why she spent her weekends fiddling with arrangements that I thought were already pretty and functional. “Yeah, but I was just getting so sick of it,” she would complain to me. “It just wasn’t working for me.”

It was kind of a revelation for me. I never gave anything in my life a makeover because I felt that making any change to a system I had so carefully and lovingly developed could be interpreted as a failure. In a way it was- I failed myself any time I ignored a way to improve my life because I wanted to avoid putting in the work of a do-over. I hated how it plagued me with uncertainty- what if something goes wrong? What if I go completely off-track?

Maybe it will. Or maybe it won’t. But it’s a silly thing to avoid change for change’s sake if it might have the potential to make your life better.

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I decided to rearrange my bookshelf for the millionth time this past weekend (for my on my philosophy on an ever-changing bookshelf, click here). I was holding onto books that I had already read and wouldn’t again; papers were misfiled; and I couldn’t find anything. It was time to let go of my worry and make a change. I think it actually turned out pretty well. I was looking for something last night and I knew its exact location right away. That in and of itself is pretty amazing.

I don’t recommend making changes on a whim- if I did the same thing, I would have painted my place at least twelve more times after moving in. But I do encourage you to let go of the status quo and challenge yourself to make life easier and more efficient for you. The moment things start to go haywire is a sign that things need to change. You wouldn’t buy your least favorite flavor of ice cream at the store. Why would you put up with something less than marvelous in your home?

The secret to knowing when you’re ready for a makeover is you. You already know when you need to make the change. Trust yourself. Admit when something isn’t working. Don’t be afraid of hard work, or making the wrong decision. The makeovers that you undertake in your home, at your office- even the ones you perform on yourself- are not due to your stupidity, and they are not a sign of failure. It’s a sign that you’re invested in yourself, that having a happier, more fulfilled is important to you, and there’s no one that can take away that feeling.

And if you’re feeling anxious about it, just remind yourself of all the lovely feels you will feel once your makeover is done and you text everyone you know a picture of your rainbow bookshelf.

At least, that’s how I think it should be done.

KBwB-BFlower-50Do you have a project that you’ve recently undertaken, or a makeover that you’ve recently been completed? I need to see before-and-after pics, stat! Share them below or send them my way at keepingbusyb@gmail.com. I’m always looking for more motivation to get projects going.

If you know it’s time for a makeover in your life and you don’t know where to start, check out all of my organizing-type posts here. Are the tasks feeling insurmountable? All you need is a rainy afternoon or a snowy evening to get started.